I have been planning to do this for weeks. Tonight, I was about to abandon the thought of finally doing this because I cannot figure out the right words to express my sentiments.

I have liked a whole bunch of guys in my entire life, but never like you. I have experienced those sleepless nights finding the exact song to dedicate to these teensy crushes, but not like this one that I have felt towards you. You're not like the typical one that I come across with in the halls or corridors anymore. We work together, and each time, you turn to me everytime you need backup. So no matter how big my efforts are just to unlike you, to not to smile at your jokes and not to get lost in your eyes everytime you look at me, I can't help it in the end. And it's insane.

Often times, I catch you looking at me and then you would look away. I never knew why, but I don't think I would ever want to know. Little did you know how loud I scream your name on the inside as I appear silent on the outside. I know you also have a lot of things to say. Me, as well. But these unspoken things will never leave our lips. This is how we are right now, and this is how we are going to be.

I never told you how exactly I felt about you, did I? And right now, I am writing down my unspoken thoughts knowing deep down inside of me that you will never have the chance to read and know, because I will never show you. I am okay with this set-up: stuck in an impasse.

And as I pen my thoughts tonight, I asked myself, is there really a possibility of us? But I have come to realize that maybe, you were meant to be out of ym reach. Maybe, you were never meant to be the brightest star in my galaxy.

Maybe you are just supposed to be a really bright star on a separate corner, making my universe a bit brighter.

Labels: CJEC, letters, Personal

I shouldn't be writing about you.

But now, I am. I am writing about how I felt when your arm accidentally brushed on mine several times. I am writing about how it felt good, if not special, and I am writing about how much I hate it.

I hate it because the more I try to run away and hide from you, you get closer. I know you don't have any intentions, but you get closer and do these things to make me feel special. Not in romantic way, but yes, the things you do makes me feel special as a person.

And as much as I am thankful for your being a gentleman, I still hate it.

Because I fall for you even more. And I am not supposed to, anymore.

I may not tell this to anyone, but I would like you to know that despite everything, despite the times that I hated how nice you are, I want you to know that I will always be here to back you up. I mean, it's my job.

No, not just it's because it's my job. It's because that you will always be special. Your name will always ring a bell inside my head. Your smile will always be one of the hundred reasons why I also smile. And I'm glad that even though we could never work out, you're still there.

So close, and yet so far.

But I think it's better that way.

Perhaps I will always keep writing about you. Maybe not in the same ways, but I will always be writing about you.

Labels: CC, letters, Personal

不求回报 (Unrequited)

Labels: CC, letters, vague

Labels: CC, Personal

It was 0:26 in 4th Quarter when Rain or Shine PG Paul Lee's crucial and unguarded three pointer did not make it through the basket -- and that's when I knew that the championship was perhaps not meant to be theirs.

But I could not be so much confident about winning as I watch Lee's three pointer rattled in and out of the ring. If my team is doing everything for them not to lose their dream history, the other team's just as desperate to stop them as well.

Timeouts were called, fouls were (forcibly) given, and seconds ticked by. My team was missing its crucial free throws. Although we were up by three points, I can never be so sure.

And then the other team's import fired his make-or-break three-point attempt -- a shot that will either delay our grand slam by forcing an overtime, or kill their hopes of stopping our grand slam. Glued on my seat, I could only hold my breath. I was silently wishing for him to miss it.

And he missed it.

The crowd in blue and white roared and went wild as the balloons fell down on them. The San Mig Super Coffee Mixers is not only the 2014 Governor's Cup Champions, but also the 2014 Grand Slam Champions, after dominating three conferences in the whole season.

FALLING (AND STAYING) IN LOVE

I was nine when I first became interested on what my Daddy was watching every other night. Men were throwing balls in baskets, -- I thought it was just about that. But with my father explaining to me how this and that happens (and should happen), I began to understand that basketball is more than just the ball and hoops. There is magic in basketball.

The very first team that I liked in PBA was Purefoods Tender Juicy Hotdogs. That was way back in 2004, the same year that marked the start of the James Yap era.

(c) PBA Images

I remember not being able to watch basketball on a regular basis, unlike my father, because I was such a busy grade schooler, then, but I do remember also that I have never liked any other team aside from Purefoods. Their staff and players come and go, and even their names changed as conferences and seasons passed by, but nothing has changed my fondness of the said team.

Fast forward to when I was in junior high school, when the team was renamed as B-Meg. It was also when Tim Cone entered as their head coach, thus, he implemented his triangle offense technique to boost B-Meg's potentials of bagging championships. I saw how much Marc Pingris improved on his free throw-shooting and defense, and I witnessed many of the downfalls of James Yap, and how he rose each and every time he fails.

(c) thellamados.blogspot.com

(c) purefoodsbasketball.com

One of the most dramatic scenes I have ever witnessed is during the 2012 Commissioner's Cup Finals Game 7 against Talk n Text (my father's favorite team), when B-Meg was down by two, 74-76 in the dying 1.2 seconds of the last quarter. As people thought the game was over, it was revealed that Kelly Williams fouled on B-Meg's import Denzel Bowles with 1.7 seconds left, forcing the latter to take two shots from the free throw line. And as if the Heavens heard the wish of every B-Meg fan across the country, Bowles made his two crucial free throws, sending the team in tears of joy and relief and the game into overtime -- an overtime that was dominated by B-Meg.

(c) Photos from AKTV

And that was when I realized that my love and admiration for this team has grown so much deeper.

But the odds weren't always in our favor, though. Despite being one of teams to beat in the league, the team had its own fair share of games that were almost theirs. Sometimes it hurts -- yes, it hurts a lot -- but this is basketball. The ball is round, and everything is possible. Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose.

THE COFFEE ERA (2012-present)

It was in 2012 when B-Meg Llamados became the San Mig Coffee Mixers. Little did everyone know that it is under this name that they will have the glory that they have worked so much for.

The 2012-2013 Philippine Cup was an almost there for the team, losing during the semi-finals to Rain or Shine, who eventually lost the championship to Talk n Text. The 2013 Commissioner's Cup was a not quite also, after failing to qualify to the finals, where Alaska won against Ginebra.

After the almosts and the not quites, the Mixers finally won their 10th championship -- the 2013 PBA Governor's Cup --after defeating Petron Blaze Boosters. Marc Pingris emerged as the Finals MVP, Marqus Blakely was hailed as the Best Import of the Conference and Coach Tim Cone had his 13th championship, tying him with his idol Baby Dalupan for the most number of PBA titles.

2013 PBA Governor's Cup Champions (c) Photo from: pba-online.net

And perhaps because of their 10th championship in the league, the San Mig Coffee Mixers was renamed as the San Mig SUPER Coffee Mixers -- the name that eventually owned the 2013-2014 PBA Season.

I have no words on how the men behind this team performed and worked in order to achieve a rare grand slam feat in the league. In every game, they just work so hard. There will be times that they will lose a game, but I'd like to think that it's okay, because they function so much better when the pressure's on, and when they need to seal a series. Every win is glorious, starting from their success in the 2013 Governor's Cup, their unbelievable win in 2013-2014 Philippine Cup and their victory in 2014 Commissioner's Cup.

2013-2014 PBA Philippine Cup Champions (c) Photo from: pba-online.net

2014 PBA Commissioner's Cup Champs (3PEAT) (c) Photo from: philstar

2014 PBA Governor's Cup Champs (Grand Slam!) (c) Photo from: Solar

But when the crowd in blue and white went wild as the balloons fell down at The Big Dome last night, it was 10x more glorious. All the painful losses and the stupid controversies were instantly gone. After so many years of wishing for this for my favorite team, it's finally theirs.

My wish is granted. Their wish is granted. The grand slam is ours.

(c) Photos from: Yahoo! PH

Labels: basketball, Laban San Mig, PBA, San Mig Coffee Mixers

I have been told that you're difficult.

To be honest, I don't know what they actually mean by "difficult." As I watch your life in pictures, I find it hard to believe that with those gentle eyes and inviting smile, is someone who might be hard to deal with.

According to them, it is primarily the reason why girls find it hard to stay with you.

They did not see that you were just striving for perfection so hard in order to provide happiness to your mother. They just pointed out the bad things. And because of this, I want to believe that you are just misunderstood -- that you are not difficult -- since somehow, I find myself in you. I scowl, I frown and become so unhappy at times, just like you. But little did they know how childish I am -- we are, actually -- when we get to comfortable around people.

And maybe that is our problem. We tend to get too comfortable around people and give them our trust quickly, that's why it hurts a lot when they disappoint us.

And that is why we hold back. When we hold back and isolate ourselves, they would think that we are "difficult."

How I wish that you would be just near -- I mean, you don't even know me, but I am pretty much sure that if you do, then you would be having someone who understands how you feel. Because let me tell you this, it is hard to have no one near you who completely feels the same way. It feels sad.

And I don't want you to feel sad.

You make people happy. You make me happy. You don't know how many people crave to see your smile everyday just for them to be happy. If I have my way, I'd go there and show you how much you have to be appreciated and understood.

If only fate could just give me a chance to be with you. If only.

Labels: JY, letters, vague

1. If they say 9:00, then 9:00 it is. 9:01 is never 9:00. The locals here are strict about the time. If it's 8:40 on your ticket, the train is leaving at exactly 8:40. Be late once, then better be prepared to hear "Ah! You're late!" instead of their usual warm, "Ni hao!"
2. The art of bargaining. Chinese vendors tend to charge foreigners up to 70% more than the original price. However, they would eventually give in if you become too makulit in bargaining. Here's one tip though: if you are not satisfied with their final price, you can just walk away. Count two seconds and they will call you back to let you buy the item with the price that you wanted. ;)
3. Snickers is a better choice than Oreo. Because they are sooo much cheaper there. A regular sized Snickers there costs around 2.80rmb, which is around 28php only. The regular sized Oreos are being sold in 7rmb (49php), almost the same price here in the Philippines.
4. Drink hot water. Because it's safer. You can't just trust the glass of water they serve in restaurants because tap water in China's not that good, so they serve it hot, just to prove that the water they give you is safe.
5. There isn't such thing as a standard way to hold chopsticks. It's all up to you. Each local has a different way to hold a pair of chopsticks. Whichever way you think will be the easiest for you -- well, use it.
6. Initiate a conversation, even if you are the foreigner. Locals tend to be a bit shy, especially when they are not too good in speaking English, so if you want to make friends, you better start talking to them first -- politely.
7. Taiwan is considered as a Chinese province. And even if they use Mandarin, their accent is very different from the people in Mainland. I didn't know this until our tour guide pointed at huge standee of Lin Chi-ling (Jerry Yan's ex-girlfriend...) and told us that she is from Taiwan -- a province of China just above the Philippines. And I was like, oh... *me so dumb*
8. Dumplings are considered as staple food. Dumplings there do not mix with rice and noodles. They are too heavy to be paired with other staple food -- because these dumplings are also considered as staple food.
9. Your student's ID will be your best buddy. It is the key to endless 50% discounts on tourist tickets and such. Make sure it is always with you.
10. Pick the middle bunk bed when riding the train for more than 8 hours. You wouldn't be able to enjoy the view when you pick the topmost and the lowest bunk. Plus the hassle.

Labels: Beijing, Mandarin, summer, Xi'an

If Beijing has mesmerized me, well, I can't find the right word to describe how beautiful Xi'an is.

When people talk about China, you would often hear Beijing, Guangzhou or Shanghai. Xi'an is not as popular as these three, but little did others know that this city possesses several of the most famous landmarks of the country, and one of the oldest and most prestigious universities not just in China, but in Southeast Asia as well.

As summer campers of Confucius Institute, aside from enjoying perks such as "free dining, transportation and tour" for fourteen days, we are required to attend Mandarin classes, including learning the language, and some of the traditional Chinese culture.

That is why in traveled for 12 hours via train (with cabin beds) all the way from Beijing to Xi'an, and stayed in Northwest University for ten days.

For several days we attended morning classes with two of our favorite laoshi's (teachers), Heidi and Christine, whom both we have known in the Philippines before. We are fortunate enough to have them, since it will comfortable for us to learn because we already are familiar with them.

During the afternoons, we have the culture classes. We learn one traditional culture per afternoon, such as Chinese traditional painting, Chinese calligraphy, and TaiJi (Tai Chi).

During TaiJi classes. GAME FACE ON!

After-class photo with TaiJi Master Hua.

With the one who is so professional in Chinese calligraphy, Viga Li laoshi!

All of them are boasting their paintings, and then there's me... nevermind.

And if we ever have free days or afternoons, we are all in tourist mode! ;-)

One of the first places in Xi'an that we had the chance to visit is the Bell Tower. It is located at the center of the city, and people value it so much that they don't build establishments higher than the said tower because of the respect that they give to the popular landmark. If there would be a building in Xi'an that is higher than the Bell Tower, that establishment will be ordered to be demolished.

The view from the Bell Tower. Sorry we didn't have a photo of the tower -- the view's too nice!

Groupie at the Bell Tower

Just nearby the tower, there is this place called the Muslim Road, where you can buy cheap souvenirs like ref magnets, keychains, chopsticks and even different kinds of street food.

We have also visited the famous and historical Terracotta Warriors...

The famous Terra Cotta Warriors

I bless you, my dear warriors... ;-)

The Historical Ruins of Imperial Hot Springs...

I just used to see this on postcards...

I just had to. I'm sorry. ;-)

And the Great Wild Goose Pagoda!

Guess who almost touched the tip of the Pagoda? ;-)

But my most favorite spot is the South Lake (also known as the Swan Lake). It is that kind if place that you often see in movies and TV shows, wherein there is a beautiful lake, a beautiful bridge, and a beautiful sunset to look at! Perfect for taking photos, definitely.

"Lumot sa Bato"

Again, I just had to. Duibuqi. :-)

There are numerous unexpected adventures, like visiting the new campus of Northwest University, and our "great escape" to the 人人乐 (big supermarket), but I guess the post would just be too long if I included the whole story (especially the great escape. Hihi).

The whole trip was nothig but memorable. Maybe it's great since its "free," we only paid for our airline ticket and the rest was sponsored by Confucius Institute, but the whole experience is priceless.

China may not be in good terms with the country that I am from, but I don't have a bad experience at all with dealing with the locals. At first we tried to hide our nationalities because of the dispute, but since our complexions and dialects were too obvious, we decided to just tell them truth. Frankly, most of them did not care about the dispute. They were so warm and welcoming, especially the students of NW.

The China Babies with ate Nicole, the sole Filipina in studying in Northwest University.

Me with some of the Chinese students I talked to before going home.

Because of this, I see a slight resemblance of China to Philippines in some way. China, despite all the bad things about it, especially these days, you can never deny that their country is beautiful. Just like how beautiful Philippines is, in spite of all the negative things people would usually associate our country with.

I consider this an achievement — travelling to a country (which has a dispute with my country, beat that!) without anybody related to me waiting for me there. After all the shits I went through, from the hassle of getting a new passport, to dealing with the error on my name stated on my airline ticket, I should say that the whole trip is worth it. So worth it.

to Jairalaine Trogo and Aaron Paul Dela Rosa for some of the photos posted above. :)

Labels: Mandarin, summer, Xi'an

Photo from: yanchengxu.net

Labels: Jerry Yan, Mandarin

Beijing is beautiful--- I don't even know where and how to start.

We stayed there for four days --- three before moving to Xi'an, and one before we went back to the Philippines. And since I was still having an internship hangover the moment I boarded the plane to China, I don't have any expectations on what will the place, food and people be like in there. I just hopped on the plane, slept and landed on Beijing, also known as Peking --- the next thing I know, I was amazed.

Beijing's traffic is almost similar to Manila's, the only difference is that they don't have trikes and jeeps, and it is much more quieter --- no angry drivers blowing their horns anywhere and the city's buildings reminded me somehow of Makati. This is one reason why I think I did not experience culture shock at all.

We checked in at Majesty Hotel after taking our first lunch, and rested after a sleepless and tiring flight.

We started touring the second day, and it was 12-13 degrees Celcius kind of morning, and I cannot help but to savor the chilly wind carressing my face. Our first destination is the National Museum of China (中国国家博物馆) located on the East side of Tiananmen Square.

Their museum is boasting of a total floor space of 200,000 sqm with four storeys, and it has a very tight security system wherein they would scan each visitor and his bag, just like in the airport. If they found a bottled water in your bag, they will let you sip it in front of them to make sure that it is not some kind of explosives.

Sorry for the LQ photos, I was only using my iPad and it was too dark. :(

But what amazed me the most is the fact that the Chinese people are incredible when it comes to preserving their culture and their past. For a country that is too big and is rich in historical stories, their people are doing a good job when it comes to educating their next generation about their history --- one of the things that I would like to happen in our country.

The next stop is the famous Forbidden City (紫禁城) located at the center of Beijing. The place served as home to the emperors and his wife, including his concubines for almost several hundreds of years. It was called forbidden because nobody can ever enter or leave the walled city without the emperor's permission.

The Forbidden City covers a total of 72 hectares, so yes, it was a hell of a long walk for us. But I must say, the view is great, and before I was only seeing this palace on TV and in encyclopedias, so it's definitely worth it.




On our third day in Beijing, we visited a jade gallery and factory. What people don't usually know is that China is not just famous for jade jewelries but jade plays a big role in Chinese culture.

The jade gallery and store

How a jade ball is being carved

A pure jade ball

Zodiac animals made of jade

 And then after, we climbed the Great Wall!

There are absolutely no words for this one. Yes, the Great Wall (長城) was hard to climb (because we chose the path where there were less tourists, but more steep steps!) but the view up there was breathtaking. I haven't managed to go up further and reach an end, (thanks asthma!) but the feeling was amazing. I climbed down thinking to myself, "I can climb anything now!" LOL!

Long way up

Just before climbing the Wall

View from the top... the "top that I reached", actually. ;)

After visiting the Great Wall, we proceeded to Beijing Olympic Stadium, also known as the Bird's Nest, and to the Beijing National Aquatics Center, or the Water Tube. These two architectures, which were built for the 2008 Beijing Olympics, were my most anticipated stop because I thought we weren't going there anymore, and I am a sucker for unique architectures like these! Luckily, we have enough time just before we boarded the train to Xi'an.

I met Minnie as I was going to the Olympic Stadium!

Bird's Nest, finally!

After the name shits before entering China, we are now here! Hello, ate Ellaine! <3

Paulinians represent! :) With Albert Tante in front of Beijing National Aquatic Center

After ten days of staying in Xi'an for Chinese classes and some tour, we went back to Beijing again to have our one last tour in the city, and visited the Summer Palace (颐和园).

The Kunming Lake, which is a 100% man-made lake, dominated the palace, along with the Longevity Hill which is about 60 meters high. The place was called as the Summer Palace because way back during the times of Ancient China, the emperor used to go there during summer since the wind there would be cooler because of the waters.

Kunming Lake and Longevity Hill

Last tourist mode before flight back home ;)

Just like any other cities in the world, Beijing has its own flaws:  the traffic, the pollution, and the reckless drivers... But I bet not one city in the world has nothing wrong with it. Maybe because somehow, this city reminds me so much of Makati and Manila, but I think Beijing is just too beautiful to not be appreciated by foreign tourists. Given the chance, I would surely go back once more (hopefully this time, with someone!), visit more places and take more photos.

Labels: Beijing, Mandarin, photography, summer

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Fiona is 19 years young, and always wears her heart on her sleeve. She is currently majoring in Journalism and aspires to be a courtside reporter. A certified foodie and a homebuddy, and enjoys devouring chocolates on rainy Sunday mornings.

She is an alumna of St. Paul College of Bocaue, and has decided to take up her bachelor’s degree in Bulacan State University in Malolos, Bulacan. She loves watching PBA and NBA games, and is an avid supporter of San Mig Coffee Mixers (PBA), and San Antonio Spurs (NBA).

She doesn’t have a favorite color; it changes every now and then. During weekends, she stays up late under her sheets, mulling over the songs of the 90's. Books are her best friends; she takes inspirations from great novels that are written by JK Rowling, John Green, Haruki Murakami and Dan Brown. She loves beautiful houses. She fantasizes living in one someday, with a husband and two kids.

You will usually find her spending some quality time with herself in the nearest coffee shop in her university, but I’d advise you not to bother her when you see her there, for it just means that she needs some time alone, with just a muffin, a good book and an espresso, off limits to the world.

This site is like a nest of unspoken thoughts, sometimes accompanied with illustrations and photographs taken by a camera, by the princess herself. She created this as her world apart from the frequent harshness of field that she has chosen, so that she may be able to write down using her own perspective, not aiming to please others, but to spill the ink within her.

All that you see in this site is (c)princessfionadiaries unless otherwise stated. Read with precaution.

Impasse
You
不求回报
Hush-hush
Granted Wish: A fangirl's take on her team's grand...
1175 (If Only)
10 things I learned in China (aside from Mandarin)
The Xi'an Experience
Down With Love: my temporary distraction
Mesmerized by Beijing

November 2013
January 2014
March 2014
May 2014
June 2014
July 2014
August 2014
October 2014

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